About me

“Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me.” Psalm 66 v 20.

Introduction

My name is Jürgen Deines. I was born in Kazakhstan in the former Soviet Union.

Medical history

Pawlodar, my past residence

In 1977 I was diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus and since that time I have been dependant on insulin. This was a huge shock for my parents. They prayed, doubted God and quarrelled with him because the doctors at that time predicted only a short life expectancy with severe development disorders for diabetic children.

For this reason, my diabetologist recommended that my parents didn’t send me to school. When the time came and the year ones went to school I joined too! Despite my growth disorder, my lovely school days went well. I learnt to play the piano and trumpet and was in many societies. After successfully obtaining my school-leaving qualifications I started to study fashion design. During this time I ran a photo studio and I obtained my driving licence. One day I noticed that something was wrong with my vision. The visit to the optician showed negative results. My visual defect intensified between the changes of season from winter to spring. It turned out to be a wrong diagnosis!

Shortly after this, I had to give up my studies and my photo studio, leave my driving licence on the chest of drawers and stay at home. Within three months I had lost my eyesight completely.

In Novosibirsk in 1992 I received the diagnosis of ‘Diabetic Retinopathy’: a disease of the retina caused by diabetes. I was immediately flown in to a clinic in Moscow. Countless different treatments remained unsuccessful. While at the university clinic, I developed Nephropathy. The professors and doctors spoke of future dialysis and of some machines which were not yet available in my country. In the subsequent time I felt very lonely because my friends had left me and the local blind schools were not able to care for people with multiple disabilities. From one day to the next I developed a more depressed state of mind. I hardly ever went outside and the joy of life disappeared from my soul.

A new life

On 29.07.1995 my family and I left the USSR. My diagnosis at the time was serious; advanced Diabetes Mellitus with a life expectancy of less than a year. I was admitted to the university clinic in Göttingen during my first days of my stay in Germany. I spent around seven months there. Even if my eyes couldn’t be saved, for the first time the doctors at the university properly got my diabetes under control. For the first time in my life, I received my own glucose measurement device and clean insulin with a pen. I had the feeling as if a light was shining on my dark horizon.

After being discharged from the university clinic, I dreamed of a new independent life. I began to apply and envisage myself at some blind schools but I only received rejections.

The reason for this was my ignorance of the German language.

In 1977, I began to struggle with suicidal thoughts. I had already been blind for five years and nothing in my life had changed. I was still alone and nobody was interested in me. I barely understood the television and radio programmes. For that reason I occupied myself nearly the whole day with my keyboard.

One day, my father ran over a man in his car. It turned out that the man involved in the accident was a pastor in a free parish. One following day, a teenager from this parish visited me. The next day the young man brought joy to me once more; somebody was visiting me. I hadn’t been used to other people for a long time. At first we talked about everyday things but afterwards he told me about God and Jesus Christ. After a while, I was able to accept the good news and give my life over to Jesus Christ. From then on, my thoughts changed dramatically. It was something different from other fortune tellers and esotericism that I had ever experienced. This time I had the will to live, solid ground underneath my feet and the joy of life back.

Our friendship unfortunately didn’t last long because my family moved to Baden-Württemberg in the same year.

Standing on my own feetJürgen Deines at the piano

In Ravensburg I quickly made contact with the Blindenverband, which sent me in 1998 to the Blindenschule Nikolauspflege, Stuttgart. Shortly after that, I took my life into my own hands. There, I learnt to walk with a white stick, to go shopping, to cook and eventually the German language and all forms of Braille. In addition, I learnt to work with computers. I spent four years at the blind school and I completed a technical blind training course and a commercial course.

At the start of 2002 a Nephrologist confirmed that I would need to have dialysis. He recommended that I should avoid all exertion and activity, or else my kidneys could soon stop working. To me that meant returning back to being inside four walls again. At that time I didn’t understand why God was doing this to me. But one night, God reminded me of when I was at the blind school and had promised Jesus Christ to serve him if I were able to read the Bible and write independently.

In the summer of 2002, I went back to Ravensburg but this time not to my family, instead into a flat! I didn’t yet know how I could serve my Lord and what he intended for me. One day, I had a longing in the depths of my heart to begin studying theology. I sent out many applications to Bible schools and in the autumn of 2002, I began a theology distance learning course at the Bibelseminar, Bonn (http://www.BSB-online.de)! As this course wasn’t so intensive I built, in my ‘leisure time,’ a sound studio at home, in which I sang and wrote songs. In addition, I learnt some programming language. 

In February 2003 I had a consultation at the transplant centre in Ulm and in August of the same year, I had a kidney and pancreas transplant. It is unbelievable- but all of my illnesses disappeared! I didn’t have to control my blood sugar, inject myself, take tablets and stick to a strict diet. For this reason, I continued my theology studies as a normal student at the Biblisch-Theologische Akademie, Wiedenest (http://www.wiedenest.de). During my time as a student I travelled around the world (America, Poland, Switzerland etc.) I helped at children’s camps, did youth and community work, carried out evangelical missions and worked for the telephone helpline for the Nightlight Station .(http://www.nightlight.de). 

A stony road - with sin

In 2009 I received terrible news from home, which made me what I am today. My seven year old nephew had been taken into hospital in a critical condition. The doctors confirmed a diagnosis of Diabetes Mellitus. I cannot describe what this triggered in me. The next morning I got up feeling completely numb. The question kept on going through my head ‘why?’ and the whole time the song ‘Herr höre mein Gebet’ played. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RcQBWjDK91

I focused my fear on trusting and belief in my Lord. I had been held back in my childhood. I remember the children, teenagers and adults who had died in hospital before my eyes. Especially in the worst times when I was already an adult and there was no medication in the country. The hospital only took in people who came with their own medicine, bed linen and food. There wasn’t medication anywhere, not for love or money. It was the time when a lot more diabetics lost their feet, hands, kidneys, eyes and lives. But also many other ill people died. God was merciful to me as I was allowed to leave the land of suffering and, thus far, survive…

When I had somewhat come to my senses, I decided to travel to my nephew because I wanted to help him with my acquired knowledge of spiritual care. In July of the same year, I did work experience in his town, where I still live today. Why had God left me, my nephew and many other children to suffer? Why must innocent people die? Why did I become a theologian and therapist for children, teenagers, adults, couples, families and physically and mentally ill people? In the meantime I have understood.

From the year 2008-2013 I specialised in this so called area because I have understood what my Lord means by ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.’ (Matthew 9v12).

If you would like to experience the vision of a theologian, Psychotherapeutic non-medical practitioner, spiritual worker, just read further on to the next page